It also has the most hysterical police reports ever. And because my mother is a peach and appreciates/helped foster my sick sense of humor, she has continued to send me clippings every week. *basks in the glow of motherly love*
And because I love you, I share these tales...
From the Hot Springs Village Voice, Tuesday, August 6th, 2013:
This week, the Village had the usual animal-vehicular interference (but no cows):
"Two accidents resulting from deer occurred during the week. No injuries were reported. Dead or injured deer were removed to preclude further accidents."
It had old people forgetting how to work All The Things:
"A resident reported locking herself inside her car. While an officer was en route, the woman again called to say that she'd gotten out."
It had Old People imagining foul play:
"A man reported five people in his back yard digging up a tree. No evidence of digging was found in his yard."
It had Old People being suspicious of All the Things:
"A resident complained of people on a boat on Lake XXXX. An officer found a man and his son concluding their fishing outing from a properly registered boat."
"A XXXX Lane resident reported a suspicious van stopped in the street and two people looking around. The west gate PRO on duty confirmed the van as a new newspaper carrier. The officer informed the thankful resident."
It had Old People being cranky with children throwing rocks:
"Residents reported boys throwing rocks at XXXX Beach."
But then it also had some of this:
"An XXXX Way resident reported outdoor urinating and exposure by a neighbor. The reportedly urinating man swore at the investigating officer and slammed the door in the officer's face. The reporting resident was told to file a formal complaint."
"A man reported that he'd hired a cleaning lady, escorted her and a female friend into the Village and paid them $180. While he was in the bathroom, the women left with his money. The man contacted the woman, who subsequently returned his money. An officer commented that the man's home was very clean, at which time the man admitted that he already had a cleaning service and that he'd met the woman via an online dating service and had arranged for her to clean his house in the nude."
Things are heating up in the retirement village! Or trying to heat up...in nature and with assorted cleaning products.
In "Of Beast and Beauty" news. I'm doing a giveaway of 2 "Of Beast and Beauty" black rose necklaces in association with the International Girls YA Book Club. Learn how to enter here: https://www.facebook.com/
Have an amazing long weekend people, and if you use your Labor Day coupons to buy "Of Beast and Beauty" let me know and I'll send the first five a signed book sticker (international).